Dr. Chlorophyll quotes Mr. Stuart Edwards in Gardener's Club, the newsletter of the garden club of Melbourne, Australia:

“All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
But what they never mention
Though gardeners know it's true,
Is when He made the goodies,
He made the baddies, too.

All things spray and swattable,
Disasters great and small,
All things paraquatable,
The Lord God made them all.
The greenfly on the roses,
The clubroot on the greens,
The slugs that eat your lettuce,
And chew the aubergine.

The drought that kills the fuchsias,
The frost that nips the buds,
The rain that drowns the seedlings,
The blight that hits the spuds,
The midges and mosquitoes,
The nettles and the weeds,
The pigeons in the green stuff,
The sparrows on the seeds.

The fly that gets the carrots,
The wasp that eats the plums,
How black the gardener's outlook,
Though green may be the thumb.
But still we gardeners labour,
Midst vegetables and flowers,
And pray what hits our neighbours,
May somehow bypass ours.

NANCY NON SEQUITUR

In a recent interview with Brad Pitt, South Africa's Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu was quoted as saying that the problem of bloody religious strife rampant in the world was not one of faith, but of the faithful. Emo Philips offers the following illustration:

I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said,”Stop! Don't do it!”

“Why shouldn't I?” he said.

“Well, there is so much to live for.”

“Like what?”

“Well, are you religious?”

He said yes.

I said,”Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

“Christian.”

“Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

“Protestant.”

“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

“Baptist.”

“Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”

“Baptist Church of God.”

“Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God.”

“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”

He said,”Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!”

I said,”Die, heretic!” and pushed him off.